


Certain Dark Things

by Lu_Vers



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kara Danvers Needs a Hug, Kara wears New 52 uniform when she is Supergirl (illustrations), Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena Luthor is a genius in different fields, Supergirl au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-17 15:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21056957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lu_Vers/pseuds/Lu_Vers
Summary: Kara did something bad.  Lena's been keeping secrets from Kara.   Set in an AU where Lena and Kara have been a couple for five years.  Angst but with a happy ending, I promise.  Illustrations in each chapter.





	1. In which Kara Danvers confesses a transgression to Lena Luthor.

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the Pablo Neruda quote: "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets herself into trouble and Lena may not be so forgiving this time.

She never meant for it to happen: Lena was her best friend (her girlfriend, really) and her first sex. Rao, life was simpler when she didn’t know what sex was. Simpler and less complicated, but emptier somehow.

Monogamy, though, she understood: it was also a Kryptonian practice. And while she never meant to cheat on Lena, she knew what she did was bad, very bad. And poor Lena had already been hurt so very much.

But keeping this from her or lying about it, would hurt her even more.

She had deliberately chosen not to fly to Lena’s penthouse tonight, the day after her girlfriend’s return following a week-long absence where it seemed she had vanished from the face of the earth, instead taking the human way (perhaps as a form of penance although the concept was as alien to Kryptonians, who preferred punishment and retribution, as it was familiar to humans and Martians.

The elevator ride, although fast, seemed to take forever. It finally stopped; a pleasant chime tinkled and a melodious female voice announced: “Penthouse. Welcome, Kara Danvers: Lena is expecting you.”

She took a deep breath as the doors slid open…

And there was Lena.

“Kara!”

Before she could react Lena leaned in and hugged her tightly, as she always did.

“Darling, I’ve missed you so much!”

Keep it together, keep it together. “Me too, Lena. It seemed like forever…” You’re doing fine, you’re doing fine.

Lena kissed her on the lips. Those soft, soft lips…

She felt the tears come.

“Kara?”

She looked down, avoiding Lena’s gaze. “Please don’t cry, darling: if you start, then I’ll start-“

A sob escaped her. “Lena, I’m sorry…”

Lena gently lifted her face with her fingers. She was crying too. “Darling, what is it? You can tell me anything; we’ll fix it together.”

Kara’s misery overwhelmed her. “I was unfaithful!” she sobbed out.

She felt, rather than saw, a change come over Lena. 

After what seemed like a long time, in a voice that was too normal, Lena asked: “Do I know her?”

A tiny nod.

“Is she one of our group?”

Kara started. “Ewww! Lena, I would never-“

“Except that you did, my darling. I think you should go now, Kara Zor-El.” 


	2. In which Lena reacts to Kara’s confession.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena withdraws and finds solace in alcohol and music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When this was written months ago, Lena's virtual assistant/AI had a different name. I've changed it to "Hope" to mirror the current season.

Kara flinched, as if Lena had struck her. “Lena, please: let me make this right…”

She trailed off as Lena’s eyes, normally warm, loving and lustful (not necessarily in that order) were now cold. Kara had never seen that look on anyone before, not even on Lex. She felt a shiver creep down her back.

“Lena… can’t we talk?”

Lena took a deep breath.

“We can. And we should, my love. But not tonight.”

“Then when?”

A long silence.

“I don’t know. It’s not something that will happen just so you can feel better. It’s not something that will happen just because you want it.”

“I understand-“

Lena held up an imperious hand and an abashed Kara fell silent.

“I need to be alone now.” Lena waved dismissively. “That is all.”

It seemed that the whole world had stopped. 

Kara sobbed as she ran to the balcony and flew off, her self-respect in tatters. 

Lena continued to stare in the direction her girlfriend had gone, then let out a shuddering sigh.

She wouldn’t cry. Not yet and not out here.

She slipped off her heels and padded barefoot into the study.

“Hope.”

The melodious voice responded: “How may I be of service, Lena?”

“I’d like some privacy. Lock the house down.”

“What are the parameters?”

“Fortress mode: no visitors, no incoming calls without my express permission. Surveillance countermeasures: orange level.” That would be enough against any intelligence agency,non-psychic Metas and The Bat.

“Understood. Additional instructions?”

“Twenty-four hour blacklist on Kara Zor-El aka Kara Danvers. Deterrence: K-protocol, minimum level.” She didn’t want to hurt her, just send a message that she wasn’t forgiven.

Yet.

And now…

She sighed. She hadn’t done this in ages. 

Lena opened a cabinet and removed a cigar from a humidor. She delicately prepared it, nipping the tip off with an antique cigar cutter, then pulled a frost covered bottle of a 30-year old sweet sherry from a wine refrigerator she had designed. She poured a decent amount into a crystal sherry goblet, sipped it and lit up. 

“Hope: recliner, side table and ashtray, please.”

From the ground upwards the objects appeared, constructed by nanobots. She settled into the chair. Quality was satisfactory this time; they were improving.

“Dim the lights, please.” She puffed her cigar and sipped the sherry. They complemented each other perfectly.

“Would you like some music, Lena?”

“Yes, Hope. Thank you.”

“What should I play?”

“Whatever you think I need.”

Even though she could neither see, feel nor hear the scan, a warm sensation ran through her body. Maybe it was just the sherry and cigar.

The music started.

Ah fuck, she thought, Hope’s getting to be too good. “Loop this song until I say stop. Thank you, Hope.”

“You’re welcome, Lena.”

_* Everybody’s high on consolation_

_Everybody’s trying to tell me what is right for me, yeah_

_I need a drink and a quick decision_

_Now it’s up to me, ooh, what will be_

_She’s gone, she’s gone _

_Oh, why_

_Oh, why_

_I better learn how to face it_

_She’s gone, she’s gone_

_Oh, why_

_Oh, why_

_I’d pay the devil to replace her_

_She’s gone, and she’s gone_

_Oh why, what went wrong?_

It took her an hour to finish the cigar and half the bottle of sherry, then she cried herself to sleep on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * “She’s Gone” written by Daryl Hall and John Oates. No copyright violation is intended.


	3. In which Kara tries to get her way.  And Alex Danvers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara's brattiness is no match for Lena's intractability. Danvers sisters comfort and a surprising revelation from Alex.

High above National City Kara scanned the urban sprawl once more with her telescopic vision.

Satisfied that things were quiet, she went back to staring at Lena’s building which promptly vanished from her field of sight.

“LENA!”

She zoomed towards where the building had been, but as she headed towards it, at the distance she would have been able to see it with normal human vision, it hove into view.

She slowed to a stop… then continued her flight path.

“Attention Kara Zor-El”

The voice came out of nowhere. It sounded like the one in Lena’s elevator. She stopped.

“Your access to Lena Luthor’s home has been revoked for twenty three hours, forty seven minutes and twenty one seconds.”

“Wait what?! Who is this?”

“I am Hope, Lena’s virtual assistant. We are speaking at a frequency that only Kryptonians can hear; as you are the only Kryptonian within range you can rest assured this conversation is private.”

“Ooookay… could you back up a minute?”

“Certainly, would you like me to replay the conversation?”

“Nooo… just explain what you meant.”

“About what?”

“Something about access?” her voice trailed off.

“Your access to Lena home has been revoked for twenty three hours, forty five minutes and thirty six seconds. Lena is also unavailable to anyone unless I am given instructions to the contrary.”

“Is she okay? I need to see her. Please.”

“Please do not proceed. Lena’s vital signs are stable.”

Kara resumed her flight path.

“Please turn back, Kara Zor-El.”

Kara ignored the request.

“Supergirl, this is your final warning. Please turn around.”

She was getting closer and would be there in a minute.

“K-protocol minimum level, initiated.”

A green ray shot out from the sky and engulfed Kara. Mild queasiness immediately set in. She retreated and the ray stopped. Kara looked at her hand: the greenish tinge was already fading.

She hovered uncertainly.

“Hope, did Lena tell you to do that?” Kryptonite radiation! Lena had used a K-ray against her!

“That was the specified deterrence if necessary, yes.”

The thought that Lena now hated her enough to use Kryptonite made her physically ill.

She zoomed off to her apartment and threw up in the bathroom. She was too numb to cry anymore so she stared through the ceiling at the stars until she fell asleep.

* * * *

The persistent knocking at the door finally woke her. “Go away! I’m not home!”

“Kara, it’s me.”

Despite her misery she smiled. Alex was the one person she wanted to see right now. “You have a key.”

“Dur, it’s bolted. Chained too, probably.”

Kara sighed. She tried opening her eyes but she couldn’t. She gingerly ran her fingers over her eyelids and felt the crust of dried tears and sleep. She really didn’t want to open her eyes so she used her x-ray vision instead.

She shuffled open to the door and opened it.

“Took you long enough! Have you-“ Alex stared at Kara: her sister was usually well-put together, even after a night’s sleep, but the woman she saw in front of her was, frankly, a mess.

“Have I what?”

“Kara sweetie, are you okay?”

Kara moaned. “No. I suck and I’m a bad person and I deserve to die alone.”

Alex strode in, took her hand and closed the door.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Kara moaned again.

“Can you look at me, at least?”

“I can’t open my eyes, it hurts.” Kara whined.

Alex knew Kara was hurting badly, but her sister was uncharacteristically being such a big baby she didn’t know whether to be amused or comfort her. She decided to do the latter while keeping the former to herself.

“C’mon, sweetie: Alex will fix.” She gently pulled Kara to the bathroom, wet a face towel and gingerly wiped the Kryptonian’s face. “Better?”

Kara carefully opened her eyes, which immediately filled with tears.

Alex enfolded the distraught woman in her arms. That was all it took: Kara slumped against her and sobbed heart-brokenly until she lost consciousness.

* * * *

The smell of pot-stickers brought her round. Alex kissed her on the forehead and sat down beside her. “Hey there.”

“A-alex? What time is it?”

“Almost three. You’ve been out for a bit.”

“Wait, what?! I’m really late for work!” She sat up; Alex gently pushed her back.

“It’s okay: I called and told them you’re taking a sick day.”

She gave her sister a trembly smile. Then her eyes widened. “What about you?!”

“I also called. Told them I have a family emergency… which this is.” She held Kara’s hand and squeezed. Kara returned it. “And I’m sleeping over tonight because we’re gonna get drunk.” Kara blinked. “Don’t tell me you don’t need it.” Alex winked at her.

“But-“

“I’ve got this, kiddo.” Alex reached down and put a beautifully crafted bottle on the table. Its contents glowed. “This can get even you and Clark drunk, so I’m told.”

Kara leaned forward and poked the bottle. The glowing liquid sloshed inside.

“Where did you get it?”

“I know someone who knows someone who knows someone.”

“What is it?”

“Zazarakh. From New Genesis.”

Kara opened the bottle and sniffed. It made her eyes water. “Strong.” She held it towards her sister. “Wanna smell?”

“Pass, thanks. I’m pretty sure a sniff would melt my eyebrows, if I’m lucky. Beer for me.”

The pot-stickers were laid out in a serving plate. There was a small bow of soy sauce by the side. Chopsticks rested on holders that looked like calico cats. Alex moved a bucket of beer between them and opened two bottles and handed Kara one.

They ate and drank in silence for a while.

“You said something this morning? Have I what?”

Alex chewed slowly then swallowed. “Yeah no. There was something weird that happened to Lena’s place but it seems okay now.”

“Weird how?”

“It disappeared sometime last night. Completely vanished on CCTVs, satellite imaging, the works. But to the naked eye, and to anyone close by, it was still there. I just thought you might know something about it.”

Kara nodded, then finished her beer. She studiously avoided Alex’s gaze.

“I noticed it last night too. Lena did… something.”

“More experiments, probably…”

“I don’t think so. She’s punishing me.”

“Why would she punish you?”

“I did something really bad.”

Alex waited.

Kara couldn’t look at her sister so she looked at the floor. “I cheated…”

Alex’s hands flew to her mouth and her eyes were huge.

“I know, I know!” She risked a peek at Alex, who opened a beer and finished it in one gulp.

Alex opened another bottle. “I need to get my head around this. You cheated on Lena?”

Kara nodded miserably. 

“And by cheated, you mean…”

“I had sex with someone else, okay?! What do you think it means?”

“That’s what I thought it meant. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“You’re Kryptonian.”

“So?”

“You people don’t have sex.”

She looked at Alex sheepishly and nodded.

"I was raised by humans; what can I say?”

Alex drained the bottle and opened another. “I cannot believe we are having the talk! Did Mom and Dad tell you about the birds and bees or did you learn it from someone else?”

“From… Lena?”

Alex nodded slowly; that made sense.

“And did she talk to you about it first or…”

Kara grinned. “The or!”

“And you’ve been together how long now?”

“Five years.”

“And you still have sex?”

“All the time.”

“Seriously?” 

Kara nodded happily.

“No LBD?”

Kara was nonplussed. “Say what now?”

“Lesbian bed death.”

“Say what now?! ”

“It’s a supposed thing that happens to us the longer a relationship goes on. It sets in after two years. Theoretically.”

“Oh Rao no! Lena and I have even more sex than we used to!”

“… and I don’t think I needed to hear that…”

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes you. Have you ever had your bed thingee?”

“Kara, I’m not answering that: it’s weird!”

“Oh so you can ask me about my sex life but I can’t?”

“Okay fine! Maggie and I weren’t together long enough to have LBD and towards the end we were fighting a lot so that didn’t help! Sam and I never got to be intimate because we were parenting Ruby then that Reign thing happened! And Kelly and I are taking it slow! Satisfied?!”

Kara was mortified.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me, Alex.”

Alex glared at Kara, who was on the verge of sniffling again. Then she reached out to her sister and engulfed her in a fierce hug.

“I’m sorry too, Kara. I didn’t mean… it still hurts…”

Kara sniffled and nodded.

“I would die to have what you have with Lena.” 

Kara’s breath hitched.

“So why did you…?”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“What happened?”

“Remember last week?”

“At the bar?”

“Yes. I brought someone…”

“Your friend from- no!”

Kara covered her face and nodded.

“She’s really cute and sexy, but still-“

Kara shook her head so vehemently her curls flew from side to side.

“It’s not like that! She was just so sad and I thought meeting you guys would cheer her up and then she got really drunk and I took her home and she threw up and I cleaned her up and put her to bed then she kissed me and I was so lonely and horny that I kissed her back and one thing led to another…”

Alex’s mouth was open. She opened another bottle and chugged it at one go.

“How long was Lena away when it happened?”

“Almost a week.”

Alex took a deep breath. “Sweetie, I’m trying not to judge… I think you do need to manage your expectations. And you may be might just be a tiny bit… entitled.”

Kara nodded, humiliated.

“And now I think we should get really drunk. Where’s the good stuff?”

“In the cabinet over the coffee corner.”

Alex rummaged through the cabinet and pulled out a bottle with a clear liquid. The label had “1414” printed on it. “Tequila. Can I?”

Kara nodded. “Don’t forget the glasses.”

Alex set the glasses on the table and opened the bottle of clear liquid. “Maybe you should pour a drop of Zazarakh first.” She moved the glass to Kara who held the bottle from New Genesis in both hands.

Kara poured a drop which glittered like sunlight on its way down.

It hit the bottom of the glass which vaporized immediately.

Without thinking Kara wiped the surface where the glass had been with her hand.

“Kara!” Alex shrieked.

Kara held out her hand: traces of the glowing liquid was on it.

“Does it hurt?” 

Kara shook her head, then licked her palm.

“Tastes pretty potent.”

Alex nodded weakly and poured herself a very generous helping tequila. “You’ll have to drink from the bottle. I’ll stick to this.”

They toasted each other and drank.

* * * *

Hours later the very drunk Danvers sisters were lying down head by head on the floor.

“Alex?”

“Mhmm?”

“How did *you* learn about sex?”

Alex finished the last of the tequila straight from the bottle. “You cannot tell *anyone* about this.”

“Pinky swear.”

“When I was six, I walked in on mom and dad doing it…”

“Wait what?!” Kara got to her hands and knees and gawped at Alex, who looked upside down to her. “Eliza and Jeremiah?!”

“They’re the only parents I have. We have. How do you think I got here?”

Kara sat down heavily.

“And then it happened again when I was eleven. I thought it was going to keep happening every five years but luckily you came to live with us and it never happened again.”

“That must have been a relief.”

“Yeah. I think mom and dad stopped doing it at home and went on ‘vacations’ because you know superpowers.” She rolled over and looked up at Kara. “That was the first time you saved my life.”

They laughed hysterically into the night.


	4. In which Lena does something bad.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first of Lena's dark secrets revealed.

Lena stirred and tried to open her eyes. Tears and sleep had caked on her long lashes. She gently pried them open.

As she stumbled to the bathroom the music continued to play.

_*Get up in the morning, look in the mirror_

_One less toothbrush hanging in the stand, yeah_

_My face ain’t looking any younger_

_Now I can see love’s taken a toll on me_

_She’s gone, she’s gone_

_Oh I, oh I_

_I better learn how to face it_

_She’s gone, and she’s gone_

_Oh I, oh I_

_I’d pay the devil to replace her_

_She’s gone, and she’s gone_

_Oh why, what went wrong?_

“Hope, stop the music.”

“Certainly, Lena. How else may I be of service: would you like me to run the shower now?”

“Wait till I’m inside then give me thirty seconds of cold water followed by warm, please.”

She undressed and sorted her clothes into different laundry baskets, then forced herself to look at her reflection in the full length mirror. It was the first time since they had become a couple that they hadn’t slept together (not counting trips and missions apart) and she missed Kara’s touch. She really would need to fix herself before going in or people would see something was very wrong and L-Corp stock would plummet.

She sighed and got into the shower. The cold water made her gasp and she waited it out. The warm water that followed eased the tension of her body as her legs gave way and she sobbed.

* * * *

Work was a relief: the million and one concerns of a successful and profitable business empire needed to be addressed, which kept her busy (and sane) throughout the day.

It also helped that Alex called in sick for Kara, although she had planned to talk to Kara’s sister (as a kind of back door checking in), it could wait. She was still very hurt, but still loved Kara despite the infidelity. She had thought about that and wondered why she didn’t disconnect immediately: maybe it was because she was a product of an affair or that she had already broken Kara’s trust in ways that her girlfriend could never imagine.

She waited till she was home to check on her other companies: it was one thing to be a billionaire when you could leverage your family’s pre-existing reputation, wealth and industries; it was something else entirely to build a billion dollar business entirely from scratch. That was really “self-made”. And what she had done as Leah Quint.

Her LeQuomm telecommunications was already a profitable concern before she took over Luthor Corp and relaunched it as L-Corp after moving it to National City. That move provided the impetus to launch LooQ Sys: a vertically integrated system that provided telecommunications, internet service and electronic security. Shell corporations within shell corporations kept her involvement hidden and pricing the hardware as loss leaders resulted in greater sales.

It took three years but now LooQ Sys was ubiquitous enough for her to initiate the 700Q533 protocol alpha test. The timing and subject was not what she would have wanted it to be, but whatever.

But then maybe the timing was perfect, after all, because Kara and Alex would be horrified by what she was going to do now. They would be appalled even if they weren’t the unwitting test subjects.

She took a deep breath and strode to the largest of her walk-in closets. As she approached the cabinets housing her bags the gait analyzer scanned her.

“Stage one passed. Hello Lena.”

The cabinet swung out and the wall behind it slid open. 

“Stage two: biometric verification initiated.”

The retinal and palm scans were carried out efficiently. A panel opened displaying a metal grill and extended a glass cylinder with a swab stick in a clear tube. She swabbed the inside of her cheek and spoke into the grill as she dropped the swab into the cylinder. “My name is Lena Kieran Luthor. My voice is my passport. Verify me.”

After a few seconds a green light went on and the wall slid open.

“Identity verified. Please proceed.”

Lena stepped into the room. She called it a “no-room” after the construct in a popular science fiction book. Its default (and minimum) surveillance countermeasure was red level which meant it was 99.0 % undetectable by anyone or anything on earth as well as low earth orbit. Above red was scarlet which rendered it 99.99% undetectable even from deep space scans. Then finally crimson which rendered it 100% undetectable by anyone, anywhere– theoretically. She was sure about the science and technology for that setting- all that was required was human testing with her as the subject.

As she strode forward the room flickered to life. The 700Q533 protocol had actually been ready for months now, but other… tests, specifically the one in the floor below had kept her occupied.

She would have preferred different parameters for the alpha but this was as good as any.

“Hope.”

“How may I be of service Lena?”

“Record and annotate everything until I tell you to stop.”

“Recording now.”

“Looksee protocol, alpha test one point zero: initiate.”

“What is the date and location?”

“Last night, 10:00 p.m. Location is…” She paused; if she really did this there was no turning back.

“Do you wish to proceed with the alpha test?”

Lena took a deep breath and nodded. “Location is 16 Hope street, apartment 4A.”

Images of Kara’s apartment from different angles appeared on some of the screens: they were from the building and room CCTVs, Kara’s cell, the cameras from her notebook computer and desktop. Step one, but an elite hacker could patch into those electronics with ease.

The next step was the beginning of the real test. “Initiate looksee protocol at this location.”

Other screens displayed negative images of the apartment from other angles. The protocol had turned the other appliances into sonar sources: on the V-darknet there had been talk of The Bat doing this on a city-wide scale. She had borrowed the idea and expanded on it.

Now came the critical part.

“Stitch.”

There was a slight flicker as the room around her disappeared– replaced by Kara’s apartment. She had done it: she had turned the electronics in Kara’s apartment into imaging sources and the looksee protocol had stitched the data together to form an immersive environment in real time. 

She walked around. It was like being at Kara’s; the thought made her breath hitch and brought tears to her eyes.

Now all she had to do was wait.

It didn’t take long: Kara zoomed in and still in her work clothes threw up in the bathroom.

Lena watched her clean herself off and remove her uniform. She ached to touch that amazingly toned, warm body. Instead she watched Kara stare upwards till sleep came and tears seeped from beneath the closed eyelids.

She stayed by Kara’s side while she slept then watched and listened intently as Alex visited and comforted her sister. All in real-time simulation.

As the Danvers sisters gently snored, she wiped her eyes. “Looksee protocol, alpha test one point zero: terminate.” Her voice caught on the last word.

She left the command centre and pondered her next move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * “She’s Gone” written by Daryl Hall and John Oates. No copyright violation is intended.


End file.
